i've never lacked so much self-confidence. this is very not like me.

Thank you for saving me; what can I say?

You are my every-thing, I will sing Your praise.

You shed Your blood for me; what can I say?

You took my sin and shame,

a sinner called by name.

Great is the Lord.

Great is the Lord.

For we know Your truth has setu s free;

You've set Your hope in me.

Mercy and grace are mine, forgiven is my sin;

Jesus, my only hope, the Saviour of the world.

"Great is the Lord," we cry;

"God, let Your kingdom come."

Your word has set me free,

thank You for saving me.

good Saturday

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." - James 5:16

What a wonderful thing. Knowing that we no longer have to feel guilty or alone or that we have to close ourselves up from others because we're afraid of being judged.

"What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.

For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. So you also might consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace." - Romans 6:1-14

Claudelle

Claudelle passed away two Saturdays ago. We celebrated her life this past Friday. It was so awesome seeing how she blessed so many people's lives and to share stories with one another. She was so smart and was so gungho about history and cultures and politics. One of my favorite things about Claudelle was how excited she was to meet college students. She saw so much potential in us, like she genuinely believed we could change the world. I hope she knew how much she's changed the lives of people around her, including mine.

She made it into the front page of the local section for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. I thought the article was very well-written.

Dear GFC

For the past two years, God has blessed me with the opportunity to serve the homeless in Pittsburgh. Through this ministry, I learned to love the poor and hate the evils that surround them, from the injustice they face on a daily basis to the addictions that hold them captive. I registered with the Domestic Poverty Track hoping to learn more about serving and reaching out to those in poverty here in the US.

At one point, I had second thoughts about going to Urbana, which led me to think, my money could be better spent on actual missions work, whatever that means. But the church had already agreed to help pay for the registration cost, so now I felt obligated. I also knew that God is a much bigger God than I could ever imagine, so I prayed that despite my attitude, He would convict me in a new way and that I would be sensitive to the Holy Spirit.

The theme for this year’s Urbana came from John 1:14, “The Word became flesh and dwelt among us.” The first half of the week was really frustrating because I didn’t yet know what to share with you guys. Every morning, we would study from the book of John in groups of 4. On Wednesday, we studied the passage on Nicodemus’ encounter with Jesus (John 3:1-21). Even though John 3:16 is one of the most well-known Bible verse and also a foundation to our faith, it was the two verses before that gave me a deeper understanding of the gospel. “Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up.” As people looked towards the snake and were healed, we are also healed as we look towards the cross. I ended up skipping Wednesday’s morning session to pray and meditate on the cross.

The following morning, God brought up a dark part of my past of which I seeked forgiveness for multiple times, but never healing.During that morning’s bible study, God pushed me to share what I had never shared with anyone before with my family group. I tried ignoring Him, but He pushed harder. “Why do you insist on holding onto it?” Until that moment, God had been silent. I finallysurrendered and shared what had been preventing me from giving up my entire life to God. I was amazed at how easy it was for me to share with my family group and how immediate I felt the burden being lifted. I knew that the Holy Spirit was already beginning to heal me. Through this experience, God showed me that it is through Christ I will always have family to fall back on. It is because of His sacrifice that I already had a bond with two girls in my family group I barely knew. To me, this was a beautiful thing!

To have a community THROUGH the blood that Christ shed for us! THROUGH the God who came down from heaven to earth, from privilege to poverty, from familiar to stranger; in order to be in communion with us. He dwelt among us! God had to incarnate himself in human flesh in order to destroy what was never meant to be part of us, that is, sin.

By the end of the week, I was convinced that this was how God wanted me to demonstrate the gospel; to be in communion with the poor by suffering with them and dwelling amongst them. To obey this call, I’d be going back to the places where my parents worked hard to leave, making this decision completely counter-cultural, but wasn’t Jesus completely counter-cultural? As of now, I am just really excited for what God has for me in the future.

t-7 hours

I barely started packing and already things are going wrong. Should I be expecting God to work amazing things this week? I think so!

ADHD

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder...

Children with ADHD generally have problems paying attention or concentrating. They can't seem to follow directions and are easily bored or frustrated with tasks. They also tend to move constantly and are impulsive, not stopping to think before they act. These behaviors are generally common in children. But they occur more often than usual and are more severe in a child with ADHD.

The behaviors that are common with ADHD interfere with a child's ability to function at school and at home.

Adults with ADHD may have difficulty with time management, organizational skills, goal setting, and employment. They may also have problems with relationships, self-esteem, and addictions.

WebMD

I need more than patience. I never felt so disappointed with him. Maybe it's because I haven't been home in a while. I know it's difficult for him to control himself, but I can't keep making excuses for him. I'm scared for him. I think we're all scared for him. He's not a baby anymore, but he doesn't get it. I am undermining the Holy Spirit. I should be praying more for him.

Mary, Did You Know?

Mary, did you know

That your baby boy will one day walk on water?

Did you know

That your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?

Did you know

That your baby boy has come to make you new?

This child that you've delivered

Will soon deliver you

Mary, did you know

That your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?

Did you know

That your baby boy will calm a storm with his hand?

Did you know

That your baby boy has walked where angels trod?

And when you kiss your little baby

You've kissed the face of God

Mary, did you know

The blind will see

The deaf will hear

And the dead will live again

The lame will leap

The dumb will speak

The praises of the lamb

Mary, did you know

That your baby boy is lord of all creation?

Did you know

That your baby boy will one day rule the nations?

Did you know

That your baby boy is heavens perfect lamb?

This sleeping child you're holding

Is the great I AM

t-5!

only 5 days, and much preparation is needed.

back home in the nyc

So... I missed my flight! I always hear of others having such dramatic airplane stories. Mine isn't all that dramatic, just my madre. She's so silly. In short,

Thought my flight was Wednesday night. It was actually Tuesday night. Madre panicked A LOT. I thought it was kinda funny. Shim happened to be packing to go home with AP. They let me hitch a ride with them to NJ, where I took the train back into the city. See mom? Everything worked out fine!

Arrived at Penn Station. Walked around as I waited for my parents to meet me. I was only in the station for a few minutes before my parents called. At that point, the brokenness of NYC became so real. At 11:30pm, the station depicted well the demographics of NY. People ranging greatly in ethnicity, age, and economic status. In one corner, there were a bunch of girls carrying shopping bags of high-end companies. 10 feet away from them, against the wall, were three individuals with everything they owned, setting up their bed. This was only a glimpse of what I saw throughout the rest of the station. God, restore your city.

"Yet even now," declares the LORD, "return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster." - Joel 2:12-13

first good laugh of the year?

Before today, I don't remember the last time I laughed where my face muscles hurted and my abs hurted and my everything hurted. Good way to almost end the semester.

What If Jesus Meant All That Stuff?

What If Jesus Meant All That Stuff? - Shane Claiborne

To all my nonbelieving, sort-of-believing, and used-to-be-believing friends: I feel like I should begin with a confession. I am sorry that so often the biggest obstacle to God has been Christians. Christians who have had so much to say with our mouths and so little to show with our lives. I am sorry that so often we have forgotten the Christ of our Christianity.

Forgive us. Forgive us for the embarrassing things we have done in the name of God.

The other night I headed into downtown Philly for a stroll with some friends from out of town. We walked down to Penn's Landing along the river, where there are street performers, artists, musicians. We passed a great magician who did some pretty sweet tricks like pour change out of his iPhone, and then there was a preacher. He wasn't quite as captivating as the magician. He stood on a box, yelling into a microphone, and beside him was a coffin with a fake dead body inside. He talked about how we are all going to die and go to hell if we don't know Jesus.

Some folks snickered. Some told him to shut the hell up. A couple of teenagers tried to steal the dead body in the coffin. All I could do was think to myself, I want to jump up on a box beside him and yell at the top of my lungs, "God is not a monster." Maybe next time I will.

The more I have read the Bible and studied the life of Jesus, the more I have become convinced that Christianity spreads best not through force but through fascination. But over the past few decades our Christianity, at least here in the United States, has become less and less fascinating. We have given the atheists less and less to disbelieve. And the sort of Christianity many of us have seen on TV and heard on the radio looks less and less like Jesus.

At one point Gandhi was asked if he was a Christian, and he said, essentially, "I sure love Jesus, but the Christians seem so unlike their Christ." A recent study showed that the top three perceptions of Christians in the U. S. among young non-Christians are that Christians are 1) antigay, 2) judgmental, and 3) hypocritical. So what we have here is a bit of an image crisis, and much of that reputation is well deserved. That's the ugly stuff. And that's why I begin by saying that I'm sorry.

Now for the good news.

I want to invite you to consider that maybe the televangelists and street preachers are wrong — and that God really is love. Maybe the fruits of the Spirit really are beautiful things like peace, patience, kindness, joy, love, goodness, and not the ugly things that have come to characterize religion, or politics, for that matter. (If there is anything I have learned from liberals and conservatives, it's that you can have great answers and still be mean... and that just as important as being right is being nice.)

The Bible that I read says that God did not send Jesus to condemn the world but to save it... it was because "God so loved the world." That is the God I know, and I long for others to know. I did not choose to devote my life to Jesus because I was scared to death of hell or because I wanted crowns in heaven... but because he is good. For those of you who are on a sincere spiritual journey, I hope that you do not reject Christ because of Christians. We have always been a messed-up bunch, and somehow God has survived the embarrassing things we do in His name. At the core of our "Gospel" is the message that Jesus came "not [for] the healthy... but the sick." And if you choose Jesus, may it not be simply because of a fear of hell or hope for mansions in heaven.

Don't get me wrong, I still believe in the afterlife, but too often all the church has done is promise the world that there is life after death and use it as a ticket to ignore the hells around us. I am convinced that the Christian Gospel has as much to do with this life as the next, and that the message of that Gospel is not just about going up when we die but about bringing God's Kingdom down. It was Jesus who taught us to pray that God's will be done "on earth as it is in heaven." On earth.

One of Jesus' most scandalous stories is the story of the Good Samaritan. As sentimental as we may have made it, the original story was about a man who gets beat up and left on the side of the road. A priest passes by. A Levite, the quintessential religious guy, also passes by on the other side (perhaps late for a meeting at church). And then comes the Samaritan... you can almost imagine a snicker in the Jewish crowd. Jews did not talk to Samaritans, or even walk through Samaria. But the Samaritan stops and takes care of the guy in the ditch and is lifted up as the hero of the story. I'm sure some of the listeners were ticked. According to the religious elite, Samaritans did not keep the right rules, and they did not have sound doctrine... but Jesus shows that true faith has to work itself out in a way that is Good News to the most bruised and broken person lying in the ditch.

It is so simple, but the pious forget this lesson constantly. God may indeed be evident in a priest, but God is just as likely to be at work through a Samaritan or a prostitute. In fact the Scripture is brimful of God using folks like a lying prostitute named Rahab, an adulterous king named David... at one point God even speaks to a guy named Balaam through his donkey. Some say God spoke to Balaam through his ass and has been speaking through asses ever since. So if God should choose to use us, then we should be grateful but not think too highly of ourselves. And if upon meeting someone we think God could never use, we should think again.

After all, Jesus says to the religious elite who looked down on everybody else: "The tax collectors and prostitutes are entering the Kingdom ahead of you." And we wonder what got him killed?

I have a friend in the UK who talks about "dirty theology" — that we have a God who is always using dirt to bring life and healing and redemption, a God who shows up in the most unlikely and scandalous ways. After all, the whole story begins with God reaching down from heaven, picking up some dirt, and breathing life into it. At one point, Jesus takes some mud, spits in it, and wipes it on a blind man's eyes to heal him. (The priests and producers of anointing oil were not happy that day.)

In fact, the entire story of Jesus is about a God who did not just want to stay "out there" but who moves into the neighborhood, a neighborhood where folks said, "Nothing good could come." It is this Jesus who was accused of being a glutton and drunkard and rabble-rouser for hanging out with all of society's rejects, and who died on the imperial cross of Rome reserved for bandits and failed messiahs. This is why the triumph over the cross was a triumph over everything ugly we do to ourselves and to others. It is the final promise that love wins.

It is this Jesus who was born in a stank manger in the middle of a genocide. That is the God that we are just as likely to find in the streets as in the sanctuary, who can redeem revolutionaries and tax collectors, the oppressed and the oppressors... a God who is saving some of us from the ghettos of poverty, and some of us from the ghettos of wealth.

In closing, to those who have closed the door on religion — I was recently asked by a non-Christian friend if I thought he was going to hell. I said, "I hope not. It will be hard to enjoy heaven without you." If those of us who believe in God do not believe God's grace is big enough to save the whole world... well, we should at least pray that it is.

Your brother,

Shane

Read more: http://www.esquire.com/features/best-and-brightest-2009/shane-claiborne-1209#ixzz0ZNLoL8P4

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farmville

my brother: :(
me: what are you sad about?
my brother: MOMMY AND DADDY ARE PLAYING FARMVILLE
me: hahahhaha
my brother: NOW ALL I HEAR IS THE SOUND OF FARMVILLE EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!!!!!

my family's silly. I appreciate them more when I'm away.

As I wait, I will continue to worship You.


Thanks for the good reminders :)

torn

I'm so torn between Pittsburgh and New York. Not even Pittsburgh, but the South Side and New York. I can't explain why I'm starting to love the South Side. So, if you ask, I'd probably say something vague. This scares me a little. I have 1.5 years left before I graduate and I hate thinking about the future because it's really up to God, but I can't help it. I'm starting to compare Pittsburgh and NY in my head.

I've missed New York. I was hoping I'd return to friends eager to explore something new in the city with me. Because this is such a huge city, there's always something new to see. But that mindset seem to have faded. I should be happy with simply just seeing my friends. I am happy. I just wish we still had that high school attitude. Who cares if it doesn't seem practical to go all the out to the city only to come back? We never cared about practicality, time, money (sometimes it was bad) before. All that mattered was that we were enjoying each other's company, exploring new things together. Why is everyone so quick to "grow up"? Maybe I'm being selfish. Maybe it's just being at home for a few days... no time to transition. But why should I have to transition? Transition is only needed if people have changed. Maybe I've changed.