t-7 hours

I barely started packing and already things are going wrong. Should I be expecting God to work amazing things this week? I think so!

ADHD

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder...

Children with ADHD generally have problems paying attention or concentrating. They can't seem to follow directions and are easily bored or frustrated with tasks. They also tend to move constantly and are impulsive, not stopping to think before they act. These behaviors are generally common in children. But they occur more often than usual and are more severe in a child with ADHD.

The behaviors that are common with ADHD interfere with a child's ability to function at school and at home.

Adults with ADHD may have difficulty with time management, organizational skills, goal setting, and employment. They may also have problems with relationships, self-esteem, and addictions.

WebMD

I need more than patience. I never felt so disappointed with him. Maybe it's because I haven't been home in a while. I know it's difficult for him to control himself, but I can't keep making excuses for him. I'm scared for him. I think we're all scared for him. He's not a baby anymore, but he doesn't get it. I am undermining the Holy Spirit. I should be praying more for him.

Mary, Did You Know?

Mary, did you know

That your baby boy will one day walk on water?

Did you know

That your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?

Did you know

That your baby boy has come to make you new?

This child that you've delivered

Will soon deliver you

Mary, did you know

That your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?

Did you know

That your baby boy will calm a storm with his hand?

Did you know

That your baby boy has walked where angels trod?

And when you kiss your little baby

You've kissed the face of God

Mary, did you know

The blind will see

The deaf will hear

And the dead will live again

The lame will leap

The dumb will speak

The praises of the lamb

Mary, did you know

That your baby boy is lord of all creation?

Did you know

That your baby boy will one day rule the nations?

Did you know

That your baby boy is heavens perfect lamb?

This sleeping child you're holding

Is the great I AM

t-5!

only 5 days, and much preparation is needed.

back home in the nyc

So... I missed my flight! I always hear of others having such dramatic airplane stories. Mine isn't all that dramatic, just my madre. She's so silly. In short,

Thought my flight was Wednesday night. It was actually Tuesday night. Madre panicked A LOT. I thought it was kinda funny. Shim happened to be packing to go home with AP. They let me hitch a ride with them to NJ, where I took the train back into the city. See mom? Everything worked out fine!

Arrived at Penn Station. Walked around as I waited for my parents to meet me. I was only in the station for a few minutes before my parents called. At that point, the brokenness of NYC became so real. At 11:30pm, the station depicted well the demographics of NY. People ranging greatly in ethnicity, age, and economic status. In one corner, there were a bunch of girls carrying shopping bags of high-end companies. 10 feet away from them, against the wall, were three individuals with everything they owned, setting up their bed. This was only a glimpse of what I saw throughout the rest of the station. God, restore your city.

"Yet even now," declares the LORD, "return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster." - Joel 2:12-13

first good laugh of the year?

Before today, I don't remember the last time I laughed where my face muscles hurted and my abs hurted and my everything hurted. Good way to almost end the semester.

What If Jesus Meant All That Stuff?

What If Jesus Meant All That Stuff? - Shane Claiborne

To all my nonbelieving, sort-of-believing, and used-to-be-believing friends: I feel like I should begin with a confession. I am sorry that so often the biggest obstacle to God has been Christians. Christians who have had so much to say with our mouths and so little to show with our lives. I am sorry that so often we have forgotten the Christ of our Christianity.

Forgive us. Forgive us for the embarrassing things we have done in the name of God.

The other night I headed into downtown Philly for a stroll with some friends from out of town. We walked down to Penn's Landing along the river, where there are street performers, artists, musicians. We passed a great magician who did some pretty sweet tricks like pour change out of his iPhone, and then there was a preacher. He wasn't quite as captivating as the magician. He stood on a box, yelling into a microphone, and beside him was a coffin with a fake dead body inside. He talked about how we are all going to die and go to hell if we don't know Jesus.

Some folks snickered. Some told him to shut the hell up. A couple of teenagers tried to steal the dead body in the coffin. All I could do was think to myself, I want to jump up on a box beside him and yell at the top of my lungs, "God is not a monster." Maybe next time I will.

The more I have read the Bible and studied the life of Jesus, the more I have become convinced that Christianity spreads best not through force but through fascination. But over the past few decades our Christianity, at least here in the United States, has become less and less fascinating. We have given the atheists less and less to disbelieve. And the sort of Christianity many of us have seen on TV and heard on the radio looks less and less like Jesus.

At one point Gandhi was asked if he was a Christian, and he said, essentially, "I sure love Jesus, but the Christians seem so unlike their Christ." A recent study showed that the top three perceptions of Christians in the U. S. among young non-Christians are that Christians are 1) antigay, 2) judgmental, and 3) hypocritical. So what we have here is a bit of an image crisis, and much of that reputation is well deserved. That's the ugly stuff. And that's why I begin by saying that I'm sorry.

Now for the good news.

I want to invite you to consider that maybe the televangelists and street preachers are wrong — and that God really is love. Maybe the fruits of the Spirit really are beautiful things like peace, patience, kindness, joy, love, goodness, and not the ugly things that have come to characterize religion, or politics, for that matter. (If there is anything I have learned from liberals and conservatives, it's that you can have great answers and still be mean... and that just as important as being right is being nice.)

The Bible that I read says that God did not send Jesus to condemn the world but to save it... it was because "God so loved the world." That is the God I know, and I long for others to know. I did not choose to devote my life to Jesus because I was scared to death of hell or because I wanted crowns in heaven... but because he is good. For those of you who are on a sincere spiritual journey, I hope that you do not reject Christ because of Christians. We have always been a messed-up bunch, and somehow God has survived the embarrassing things we do in His name. At the core of our "Gospel" is the message that Jesus came "not [for] the healthy... but the sick." And if you choose Jesus, may it not be simply because of a fear of hell or hope for mansions in heaven.

Don't get me wrong, I still believe in the afterlife, but too often all the church has done is promise the world that there is life after death and use it as a ticket to ignore the hells around us. I am convinced that the Christian Gospel has as much to do with this life as the next, and that the message of that Gospel is not just about going up when we die but about bringing God's Kingdom down. It was Jesus who taught us to pray that God's will be done "on earth as it is in heaven." On earth.

One of Jesus' most scandalous stories is the story of the Good Samaritan. As sentimental as we may have made it, the original story was about a man who gets beat up and left on the side of the road. A priest passes by. A Levite, the quintessential religious guy, also passes by on the other side (perhaps late for a meeting at church). And then comes the Samaritan... you can almost imagine a snicker in the Jewish crowd. Jews did not talk to Samaritans, or even walk through Samaria. But the Samaritan stops and takes care of the guy in the ditch and is lifted up as the hero of the story. I'm sure some of the listeners were ticked. According to the religious elite, Samaritans did not keep the right rules, and they did not have sound doctrine... but Jesus shows that true faith has to work itself out in a way that is Good News to the most bruised and broken person lying in the ditch.

It is so simple, but the pious forget this lesson constantly. God may indeed be evident in a priest, but God is just as likely to be at work through a Samaritan or a prostitute. In fact the Scripture is brimful of God using folks like a lying prostitute named Rahab, an adulterous king named David... at one point God even speaks to a guy named Balaam through his donkey. Some say God spoke to Balaam through his ass and has been speaking through asses ever since. So if God should choose to use us, then we should be grateful but not think too highly of ourselves. And if upon meeting someone we think God could never use, we should think again.

After all, Jesus says to the religious elite who looked down on everybody else: "The tax collectors and prostitutes are entering the Kingdom ahead of you." And we wonder what got him killed?

I have a friend in the UK who talks about "dirty theology" — that we have a God who is always using dirt to bring life and healing and redemption, a God who shows up in the most unlikely and scandalous ways. After all, the whole story begins with God reaching down from heaven, picking up some dirt, and breathing life into it. At one point, Jesus takes some mud, spits in it, and wipes it on a blind man's eyes to heal him. (The priests and producers of anointing oil were not happy that day.)

In fact, the entire story of Jesus is about a God who did not just want to stay "out there" but who moves into the neighborhood, a neighborhood where folks said, "Nothing good could come." It is this Jesus who was accused of being a glutton and drunkard and rabble-rouser for hanging out with all of society's rejects, and who died on the imperial cross of Rome reserved for bandits and failed messiahs. This is why the triumph over the cross was a triumph over everything ugly we do to ourselves and to others. It is the final promise that love wins.

It is this Jesus who was born in a stank manger in the middle of a genocide. That is the God that we are just as likely to find in the streets as in the sanctuary, who can redeem revolutionaries and tax collectors, the oppressed and the oppressors... a God who is saving some of us from the ghettos of poverty, and some of us from the ghettos of wealth.

In closing, to those who have closed the door on religion — I was recently asked by a non-Christian friend if I thought he was going to hell. I said, "I hope not. It will be hard to enjoy heaven without you." If those of us who believe in God do not believe God's grace is big enough to save the whole world... well, we should at least pray that it is.

Your brother,

Shane

Read more: http://www.esquire.com/features/best-and-brightest-2009/shane-claiborne-1209#ixzz0ZNLoL8P4

Posted using ShareThis

farmville

my brother: :(
me: what are you sad about?
my brother: MOMMY AND DADDY ARE PLAYING FARMVILLE
me: hahahhaha
my brother: NOW ALL I HEAR IS THE SOUND OF FARMVILLE EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!!!!!

my family's silly. I appreciate them more when I'm away.

As I wait, I will continue to worship You.


Thanks for the good reminders :)

torn

I'm so torn between Pittsburgh and New York. Not even Pittsburgh, but the South Side and New York. I can't explain why I'm starting to love the South Side. So, if you ask, I'd probably say something vague. This scares me a little. I have 1.5 years left before I graduate and I hate thinking about the future because it's really up to God, but I can't help it. I'm starting to compare Pittsburgh and NY in my head.

I've missed New York. I was hoping I'd return to friends eager to explore something new in the city with me. Because this is such a huge city, there's always something new to see. But that mindset seem to have faded. I should be happy with simply just seeing my friends. I am happy. I just wish we still had that high school attitude. Who cares if it doesn't seem practical to go all the out to the city only to come back? We never cared about practicality, time, money (sometimes it was bad) before. All that mattered was that we were enjoying each other's company, exploring new things together. Why is everyone so quick to "grow up"? Maybe I'm being selfish. Maybe it's just being at home for a few days... no time to transition. But why should I have to transition? Transition is only needed if people have changed. Maybe I've changed.

"Kurt, lemme cut it!"

two-faced
trespassing
cheated
trust
broken
trust
frustration
torn

forgiveness

I know that wherever you are, you are with God. So, I should not be this worried.

Brandt Russo

"It's when I stopped having expectations of people was when I started seeing changes in them."

"If you have anything, there is a purpose for it."

"The best way to honor your mother and father is to honor the One who made them."

How do you give up something you feel God has blessed you with? How do you know if it is what God is calling you to give up? What does it mean to give it up? I'm tired of getting dragged from one end of the spectrum to the other. God, what do you want from me? I don't think I'm getting anywhere. I still have the same questions and problems from freshmen year. I wish I could be more persistent.

Happy Birthday Kansas City Tim!

Dear Tim,

I’m really glad you’ve found a place in Hot Metal Bridge Faith Community. I pray that this community will be a place where you can continue to grow spiritually and spread the joy the Lord has blessed you with to others. I was so encouraged when you were excited to bring your Bible to church. Continue to have that passion. As much as it is a blessing to you, it’s even more of a blessing to others. Thank you!

In Christ,
Amanda Low

thanks, padre!

i have good friends and an even gooder God

Ephesians 3:14-20

14 When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father,15 the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. 16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. 17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. 20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 21 Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.

tired

If simply believing in God were enough, I don't think God would put in my heart this burden to care.

If I had your eyes, I would be too depressed.

I had a dream about these stairs a long time ago.

http://www.dump.com/2009/07/01/worlds-steepest-stairs/

also a really good song

"Give Me Your Eyes" - Brandon Heath

click it.

I don't remember who introduced me to this song. Such a good song. The beginning also kinda reminds me of TobyMac's "Made to Love"

favorite songs we sing at Hot Metal

I couldn't find a faster version of this song.


Down in the River to Pray (though I think it should be TO the River)

God will meet you wherever you are; and whether you're a sister, brother, father, mother, SINNER; God will meet you in prayer. Prayer can so easily be taken for granted.

Sleep-In for the Homeless

The “Sleep-In for the Homeless” is a public awareness fundraising event that benefits over 1,500 local homeless children, seniors, adults and families served through Community Human Services (CHS)homeless programs and housing services. The Sleep-In, an overnight event, features speakers, song-writers, local politicians, and homeless advocates. The goal is to invite participants to become more actively involved in helping the homeless. Many activities are planned for the event, including poverty simulations, street-rounds reaching out to the people living on the streets, and music and letter writing campaigns.

The “Sleep-In” will be held overnight in the portico and first floor lobby of the Pittsburgh's City-County building in on October 9, a Friday evening.

haha I miss NY

grow, grow, you're not through yet;
you may be half dead, but you're half alive,
so let's survive.

Homeless Ministry

Homeless Ministry will be different this year. Good different. Meeting new people means we're reaching out to people we haven't reached out to before. I'm going to miss seeing our friends Downtown but I think I'll see them again.

God, please watch over them and please lead us to those who could really use some love. And I pray that they (and I) will be satisfied in you alone. "Loose the bonds of wickedness... break every yoke."

"Resistance is futile"

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55:9

It's so amazing seeing God's plan for me unravel and to finally see why God did what He did. He knows better than me and He knows what's best for me. I'm a FOOL to resist... Resistance is indeed futile.

Praying for Cambodia

Grace Faith Church's Vision Team Presentation

"Blessed is he who has regard for the weak; the Lord delivers him in times of trouble." - Psalm 41:1

Long Term Vision
purchased land = future location for mother church
- regulation sized soccer field
current church hosts 100-120 teens during the summer

"H**": raised by a neglecting, abusive mother
- young 20's: main caretaker for siblings while mom went to the casino
- many Cambodians are smaller because of lack of nutrients
- future leader for Poipet, Cambodia

Other churches in area: difficult to get to (2-3 hours away)
- only one paved road in Poipet
- very deep, muddy "roads"
- most reliable transportation: bicycle

Necessary for Cambodians to be resourceful
- homes built on stilts
- basins to catch rainwater

Soueth would travel to different churches
- bring gospel TO people, since it is difficult for people to GO

Simple worship (recorder, voices)

Most families have 7-8 kids

Only a creek separating Thailand and Cambodia
- mainly used for smuggling things/people
"Pa**" and the Miracle Tree
Pa**: small petite woman, "spiritual giant"
- widow with 7-8 kids to care for: prayed for God's provision
- God provided a tree that has a market for its own leaves: leaves could be sold for profit
- tree only grew in Pali's land, could not be reproduced elsewhere
Prayer Request: woman whose husband has 1-2 weeks to live b/c of liver cancer
- abusive husband, but she still loved him
- Domestic violence very common in Poipet

Kids were always joyful

Cambodia
96% Buddhist
Poipet-border growing out of refugee camps (150,000 inhabitants)
50% population under 21 - with limited knowledge/lack of education
few affordable language schools

Poipet: Mercy Ministries Foundation (MMF)
- preschool, hope center, orphanage
- many parents abandon kids (esp. girls)
- Soueth makes weekly trips to orphanage
- provides jobs, jobs are scare in Poipet
- ESL: $0.05/day (still unaffordable for some), Education Without Borders (EWB)

Q: Government's Role? mainly indifferent, care more about money coming in

"La*****" - run away girl (age 14) come from abusive family, picked up by Soueth from abusive uncle

Q: Ministry for Women? knitting classes, nothing much for women who have been abused

Article: "Helping the Poor and Reaching the Lost" - Augustine

Feeding Program
- fed children on Mondays, Tuesdays, Saturdays only
- 20 children, all look really young (malnourished)
- cost: $20/month ($10/meal, $0.50/child)
- Church volunteers cook meals, often don't eat

Article: "Our Responsibility to Help the Poor" - Randy Alcom

"Give generously to him and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the Lord your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to. There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land." - Deuteronomy 15:10-11

"If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered." - Proverbs 21:13

longer days

Hot Metal now has a second service- 9:30AM! I really enjoyed going alone (out of the CMU crowd). It forces me to meet new people. If I hadn't gone to the early service, I also wouldn't have met David. I really hope he makes it to Hot Metal on Sunday.

God, he asked for a clean slate in Pittsburgh; please show him -

"We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life." - Romans 6:4

I've also really missed going to Bryant Park after work over the summer just to read and I guess, "people watch," And I got to do that today (plus NAP and talked to a fellow "people-watcher")! Not at Bryant Park, but in a small grassy area between CMU and Pitt. It reminded me a lot like Bryant Park actually. The size and shape (proportionally about the same), random events with music, the kids running around.

In this day and age We got a false Jesus being portrayed

Her lyrics always give me the chills. What a gift God has blessed her with.

PRAY continually

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God Christ Jesus for you." - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Hasta Luego, Mt. Washington

"Built to Die" - Pastor Derrick Weston, Presbyterian Church of Mt. Washington
As Christians, we are called to Die.
Die to the noise around us, so that we can only hear God's voice.
Die to the people who are like us and put aside our differences because Jesus is bigger than that.
Die to our right to be right, so that we can forgive others the way God forgave us.
Die for the sake of the poor and the oppressed, so that the voiceless will have a voice.
Die to our own comfort.

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." - Matthew 16:24

God, help me die to my own desires and be willing to go wherever you call me to go.

My Utmost for His Highest (ctrl+c)

What was the joy that Jesus had? Joy should not be confused with happiness. In fact, it is an insult to Jesus Christ to use the word happiness in connection with Him. The joy of Jesus was His absolute self-surrender and self-sacrifice to His Father— the joy of doing that which the Father sent Him to do— ". . . who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross . . ." ( Hebrews 12:2 ). "I delight to do Your will, O my God . . ." ( Psalm 40:8 ). Jesus prayed that our joy might continue fulfilling itself until it becomes the same joy as His. Have I allowed Jesus Christ to introduce His joy to me?

Living a full and overflowing life does not rest in bodily health, in circumstances, nor even in seeing God’s work succeed, but in the perfect understanding of God, and in the same fellowship and oneness with Him that Jesus Himself enjoyed. But the first thing that will hinder this joy is the subtle irritability caused by giving too much thought to our circumstances. Jesus said, ". . . the cares of this world, . . . choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful" ( Mark 4:19 ). And before we even realize what has happened, we are caught up in our cares. All that God has done for us is merely the threshold— He wants us to come to the place where we will be His witnesses and proclaim who Jesus is.

Have the right relationship with God, finding your joy there, and out of you "will flow rivers of living water" ( John 7:38 ). Be a fountain through which Jesus can pour His "living water." Stop being hypocritical and proud, aware only of yourself, and live "your life . . . hidden with Christ in God" (Colossians 3:3 ). A person who has the right relationship with God lives a life as natural as breathing wherever he goes. The lives that have been the greatest blessing to you are the lives of those people who themselves were unaware of having been a blessing.

compati

Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him. For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. - 1 John 3:16-20 (KJV)

What does it mean to have compassion to others? If we do not have compassion for others, "how can the love of God be in [us]?" (NIV). Isn't the "love of God in us" what makes us different? Last semester, I went to ACF's last large group on spiritual gifts (quite cool and interactive) and they had a station that helps determine possible spiritual gifts. My "top" gift ended up being compassion, but I can't see it as a gift. Compassion is a trait, I think, that stems from the "love of God in [us]."

NIV uses the word "pity" in v.17, but there's more to compassion than pity. When you pity others, you feel sorry for them. It brings them down, when we should be lifting them up and it does nothing to "help" them. Compassion brings hope to the situation. It's feeling the pain others feel (very hard thing to do if we've never had the same experience) and doing something about it. Etymology!!! from OED.

compati (ppl. stem compass-) to suffer together with, feel pity, f. com- together with + pati to suffer.

"Apples give me gas. heheh." - Steven

Everybody has a story, a pitch, when you first meet them. Today, I waited for the pitch to be over and discovered a real person, a broken person. God, I know You can heal Steven.

Jesus, have mercy.

God of All Nations

God of all nations
Lord of creation
It's in the bonds of love we meet
We come together at Your feet

Equal in Your sight
Made one by Your might
You've called us to restore Your lands
And place them back within Your hands

So tonight
Be glorified
Be magnified
As every nation lifts You high
Oh, Father, tonight
It's our desire
To see Your kingdom shine
On earth as in heaven tonight

God of all nations
Lord of creation
Your purpose is our hope, our bread
All You've planned and all You've said

Lord of the heavens
Lord of the ages
The church You build shall never fail
No gate or border will prevail

- "God of All Nations" - Newsboys

Knowing that God created all nations... I can't help but love learning about different people and different cultures. It completely shatters the box I used to put God in.

It's so crazy to think that people alllll over the world are worshiping the same Awesome God I worship. I HAVE BROTHERS AND SISTERS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD!!!

Though, it saddens me that some of my brothers and sisters cannot worship God as freely and publicly as I can. Please pray for them.

5POINTZ

I have to go to 5ptz before summer ends. It's been too long!!!!!!!!!! JOIN ME!!!

Pandora

I met a lady on the 7 train two days ago. Her name is Pandora. She was preaching the gospel on the train car I was in. I've heard them before. In the past, I just turn up the volume on my mp3, or CD player. I didn't that day.

She started off with,

"I just wanted to tell you all that Jesus loves you."

I'm not going to lie, I assumed she was going to ask for money or it was at least one of those shady, fishy evangelism speeches and I am embarrassed for thinking that.

She went on to saying,

"God wants nothing more than to have a personal relationship with you... You can have a relationship with Him today... He will meet you where you are... Nobody's perfect, but God is forgiving."

I've heard this so many times before. I've told this to others so many times before, but I never felt so loved hearing this from Pandora. It could have been her genuineness and honesty and the visible care she had for the people around her, people she didn't know, whether they were listening or not. Or it could have been the weird mixed feelings I've been getting all week. Whatever made me really listen and take in what Pandora was saying; I just really needed to hear it. I guess you could say it reaffirmed my faith.

She got off at either Junction or Woodside, I forget... one of the express stops closer to Flushing. I was so encouraged by her boldness and I understand that even preachers and people as bold as Pandora need prayer. So I followed her out of the crowded train and tapped her on the shoulder and she let me pray for her. Then, she prayed for me. I didn't tell her anything about me or my family or what I was going through with my own faith, but she knew exactly what I needed prayer for. [[One thing I really miss about Pittsburgh is the culture of prayer and just being surrounded by brothers and sisters I know I can randomly pull aside from what they were doing and , without hesitation, ask them to pray for me or vice versa.]]

Since then, I've been praying that God would use me in the morning and at night, a prayer I've sort of been neglecting intentionally for a while. Today, I got to share a small piece of my faith to 2-3 of my coworkers. Only one guy was asking the questions, some of them were just to be funny, but I hope that my responses will open his mind some and that he will question his own faith, or lack thereof. Since I started work, I found that I couldn't really be myself around the guys (yes, I work with a bunch of guys), but when one guy found the word, "shalom," as the banner on my phone, there was a huge weight being lifted off.

Eternally grateful for Jehovah Elohe Yeshuathi

RIP Shadow XX/1994 - 07/25/09

tired and confused/unsure.
stop putting these thoughts in my head please. ty.
this world is so broken and only the God who can move mountains can heal us.
i don't understand how people can just pick up their stuff and go because they're bored of life (very office space).. i pray Colter will hear the call of God to follow Him on a journey that is definitely not boring.

i kinda wished they had stuffed him :(

some positive comments:
super glad sharon came to ny :)
super fun time at the met... kinda want to go back
super fun time gaining more exp points in the dancing category

SHARON!!!

Sharon's visiting SATURDAY!!! :D

Let the adventures begin :)

Jehovah Jireh

God is so faithful. I don't know how many times it'll take for me to finally get that. I totally had doubts about planning a last minute sharing and prayer time for fellowship tonight. And it wasn't until the minute I was picked up to go to fellowship, did I realize how selfish I was being. It isn't about me. It didn't matter how much or how little I prepared to "lead" a small time of prayer with the group because God knew what was necessary for our fellowship. Not only that, but He knew what I needed to hear as well.

Freshmen year, I read, "Too Busy Not To Pray," by Bill Hybels, and it helped me a lot when it came to refocusing my prayer life. But recently, I seemed to have forgotten what it means to pray and even why I should pray. A handful of us agreed that praying comes easy to us when something good or bad is going on, but when there seems to be "nothing" happening, prayer doesn't come to mind so easily anymore. Bill Hybels ends the book with 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17:

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

I am so grateful Jehovah Jireh.

The Red Balloon

For those of you who read doobybrain.com, he just had a post on this video recently and for those of you who went to PS 162 with me may have remembered this video. I think this video is the reason I have a fear of holding onto helium (or floating) balloons by the string. Whenever I do, I get a tingly, itchy kind of feeling in my fingers. Like I have an urge to let go of the balloon, but I shouldn't, so I try to avoid holding onto balloons altogether. Even so, I really liked this video and didn't mind watching it over and over again in elementary school.

Cloudy With A Chance of... Debris?

As much as I love the city, my year will not feel complete if I didn't have my annual dose of wilderness and an amazing fireworks show for the fourth of July. For a random town in the middle of nowhere, the fireworks are AMAZING even if we're close enough to feel the debris fall on us. My mom says it's better than the show Macy's puts on. My favorite part of our camping trips are the hiking trails. There's nothing like traveling through nature's own obstacle courses to find an amazing view at the end, unless the trail is called, "Boulder's Point" (haha. inside joke). Actually, the story of Boulder's Point doesn't take long at all.

Beyond a very small hiking trail to the Mountain House (which no longer exists), there's another trail called, "Boulder's Point." Last year, some friends and I decide to hike up to said point. The hike ended up being longer than the hike to the Mountain House and more dangerous. Boulder Point turned out to be quite anti-climatic and very disappointing. It was just a huge boulder that we couldn't climb at the edge of the cliff that covered what could have been a very nice view. The best part of the hike was probably when we encountered a family looking for their dog, "Lucky." haha oh irony. I hope they found him/her.

Seriously though, I think I need to go camping or at least be in the wilderness at least once a year so that I don't become so engulfed in the commercialized, materialistic environment of the city. There is a huge relief to be cut off from my phone and computer. NO DISTRACTIONS! There is such a huge joy in just sitting down and taking in all that God has created. I don't ever remember happily waking up at 7am except for the ultimate "Stair Master" that is North Point (a longer hiking trail unsuitable for the elderly).

And while I love camping, I don't think I can live in the wilderness for a long period of time either. One of the greatest things about living in NY is all the diversity. I like learning about different cultures and I enjoy watching people, as creepy as that may sound. People are funny sometimes. We only started watching the fireworks from that small town 3 years ago and everytime we go, you get the feeling that some of those people have never seen an asian person in real life before. This is based on some looks they give and some comments that are made. Patience with truly ignorant people, I have not.

Now I'm back in NY (yay!), but I will be looking forward to more hiking next year :)

To Whom It May Concern

Dear ________,

I'm sorry for all those times I've judged you. God keeps bringing me back to Matthew 7:3. It's frustrating, but only because the verse speaks so much truth in my life.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"

I know there's a plank in my eye, but many times, I choose to ignore it. And because of that, judging you becomes easier and loving you becomes all the more difficult. Focusing on your iniquities, as opposed to my own, does not make me feel better about myself, just more bitter towards you. I have experienced what this thing Jesus calls a "plank" in my eye can do to my relationship with you and with God. I want to be able to love you despite the iniquities and not just because I have iniquities of my own but because you are a creation of God and He is perfect.

I'm still God's work in progress, so please be patient with me also.

Yours Truly,
Amanda Low

heheh

Spider from Qoob TV on Vimeo.

money

I hate money. I hate what it does to people. I hate that money defines one's success in this world.

Since I got home, I've been so careful to not start silly arguments with my parents and to be a better daughter to them. I think yesterday was the only time ever when I had true joy in running errands and helping out around the house. As much as I've been getting along with my parents these past few days, there's a HUGE wall that still stands between us. I hate money. I've had this discussion with my parents in the past and it always ends with bad feelings and bitterness. We touched on the money discussion a little again during dinner time and I felt all the bad feelings coming back to me and without thinking, or maybe thinking aloud, I said, "I hate money."

My parents did not have money growing up. Both my parents were raised in the ghettos of New York and they constantly remind me how hard it was for them. They worked/work really hard so that my siblings and I don't have to go through what they went through. I feel terrible for making them pay so much money for me to go to CMU, especially when I've been a less than average student. I feel even worse when I catch myself judging my parents and calling them hypocrites when they spend money on luxuries and expensive vacations. It's different when they don't know God. In their eyes, they earned their money without God. They moved up on the social/economic ladder without God.

Like most other parents, my parents expect me to come out of college with a high paying job so that I can live an even more "comfortable" life than what I am living now. I am an investment, but I can't promise them that they will be getting what they're paying for, even if I wanted the same things. I'm still working hard in school, but I don't think I'll be comfortable living a "comfortable" life after I graduate. How can I after what God has been revealing to me?

Between me and my parents, there are so many clashes from different cultures. Forget double-mindedness, more like quadruple-mindedness (yay Interp). My parents, though pretty Americanized, hold tight to their collective and family values. These aren't bad values to have at all, but it's been difficult when God seems to be pulling me in a different direction; a direction my parents might not approve of.

Following Jesus is hard.

Shalom

Copied and Pasted..

So this year, I was in the ReDefine Reality track, quite different from the Leadership Team track, where I learned a lot about who God made me to be, how to work well on a team, and about Christian leadership in general. In ReDefine Reality, we started off with a bunch of simulations (which are always fun and stimulating) to acknowledge that there is a lot of brokenness in the world and that some people are just born into it. We also talked a lot about God's original plan and how the world looked before the mess. Spending time in Genesis really showed me how messy we made God's creation and that we can't do anything to restore shalom, thus God sends Jesus to enter the mess. I've heard all this before and to be honest, I was getting pretty tired at this point and really wanted to get to the application part of the track. Before that happened, God showed me how much I need to be humbled. During quiet time, I realized how easy it was to get caught up in the acts of social justice and to lose sight of why I was doing it in the first place (like the disciples in Matthew 26 and Mark 14). I am not perfect. I am part of what makes this world messy! And despite all of that, God still blesses me with gifts and "power" that can be used to give others a hand up and not just a handout. Using the power that we have as college students can help restore shalom in this broken world.

From this track, I now have a better idea of what it means for me to use the "talents" God has given me. I need to continue to pray for humility so that I will not be judging my brothers and sisters (in CMU and in NY) as I encourage them to care more about social justice. And while I am here in NY for the summer, I am hoping to connect to a Homeless Ministry. I was able to get a few names over winter break, but never got a chance to visit.

So if you're in NY and would like to join me in my quest to serve God's city, holler!

you don't love me? WOW. whatever.

05/29/09 - Found this post un-posted!

Twas a terrific day today. Took foreverrrr to get the charcoal going (many thanks to Snewby's cousin), but the corn was still deliciousss. Finally went to the Andy Warhol Museum.. during happy hour. hahaha. Random middle-aged women there. The free Shirley Temples were tasty :)
Man, that Andy Warhol was quite a character.

OXIDATION!!! and pee?
Ten Punching Bags
Skulls. omnomnomnom
Disaster
Dennis Leondard Dean - I've never seen a person wearing as much Jesus as this guy did.
Peggy Wilson(?) - Sweetest little lady. Her sense of humor is amazing.

I pray that Dennis and Peggy can find healing and forgiveness in their heart from the hurt they've experienced from other people. Why are people so mean?

kaZAM!

One of my favorites, probably because I can empathize with Calvin a lot here. Random outbursts often happen to me, and whenever my parental units threaten me with "something to do," I get frustrated and end up by myself with my thoughts. Intimidating and scary... the thoughts that I try to avoid. When I have a lot of thoughts, it's easier for me to avoid all of them all together, but I end up getting bitter, impatient, exhausted, and unmotivated, not to mention, distant from God. Maybe this blog thing can help get my thoughts physically sorted.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

-Reinhold Niebuhr-

dwight.

i forgot to pack away my dwight.

i will be home in t-minus 10 hours. CRAZY!!! i could go for some chocolate chip ice cream.

to do:
watch curse of the golden flower - report back to claudelle
uno lab report
figure out how to get to the airport from either downtown or the south side