I thank God for my parents. Not just because they love me, care for me, look out for my best interests, provide for my physical needs, etc. But they have been the greatest challenge to my faith. I look back at the email padre sent me a while ago, filled with so many questions and thoughts he has been struggling with. I have responses to them all, but I have no idea how to respond to my parents. Maybe I'm waiting for a new answer that will satisfy them. But I don't think there exists one unless they have a change of heart.
Despite my and my parents' lack of knowledge of the Chinese culture, language, geography, history, traditions, practices, etc., I struggle with the only value padre seems to latch onto. "Family should come first." I have trouble even typing my response to this statement because I know that my response would break my parents' hearts. I can tell them over and over again how much I appreciate what they do for me, but in the end, I am crushing all their dreams for me, my future in which their entire adult lives were invested. There are so many thoughts that are running through my mind at this moment, none of which I know how to put down in words, so I'm just going to stop.
Luke 12:51,53. "Do you suppose that I came to grant peace on earth? I tell you, no, but rather division...They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother..."
ReplyDeletecross reference to Micah 7:6.
"For son treats father contemptuously,
Daughter rises up against her mother..."
Followed by Micah 7:7.
"But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the LORD;
I will wait for the God of my salvation
My God will hear me."
The rest of Micah 7 is also very good.
Family division is never ideal. Please take encouragement from your God who hears you, and be patient. God is love, and love is patient.
When I get down on myself for how I've acted, this is good for me to remember (thinking about Talha): It is God who saves.
I feel ya. Remember how I talked about how spiritual family is of more lasting value than biological family? I firmly believe that, but I haven't been able to say that to my parents. =/
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