"Hell Spawns! Tree Rats!"

When serious work is not being done, we scheme against the "red monkeys," though some may call this serious work. I'm still not sure how serious my project leader, Matthew, was about some of his feelings towards these creatures. Though based on some stories I've heard, I could almost understand the animosity.

I introduce to you, the infamous, notorious Red Monkey. Red Monkey has a reputation for being aggressive and finding a way to getting what he wants. Red Monkey fears no man, man fears Red Monkey. If man leaves the door unlocked, Red Monkey will find his way to the food and bring it back to the others. Man may defend his home with a slingshot, "Monkey" bombs, or paintball guns. If Man chooses to shoot/scare Red Monkey with any of the listed items, he risks being charged at by Red Monkey, thus Man must be prepared to shoot/scare once or twice more immediately after the first time.

Orrrrr.... Man may choose to unleash the secret weapon, that is, The Hudson. The Hudson - always prepared to defend his family and friends against whatever harm may come of Red Monkey. He carries with him a not-so-sharp double-edged wooden sword, which he holds safely in the belt Nana sent him behind his back. When The Hudson spots Red Monkey, he will uphold his duties irregardless of whatever consequences he may face.  Therefore, The Hudson must be under adult supervision when Red Monkey is within sight.

Though these methods may frighten Red Monkey away, Red Monkey is not to be underestimated. He will be back for more. Only next time, he will be back a little big angrier and perhaps with more of his kind. Man must be prepared for such occurrences.
*The struggle between Man and Red Monkey are based on true events, but details may have been embellished for dramatic effect.