In many ways, I am very blessed to be living at home (my parents' home). Financially, I would be struggling if I were to find an apartment in New York, at least without a roommate. I am also living very close to work, close enough to bike in good weather and get home early to help out with dinner. I also often have many laughs with my family that I probably can't get when living by myself.
There have also been so many challenges with living at home. I've definitely blogged about this topic before, but I'm going to try to sound less whiny.
- Relationship with the Parents - It's so difficult living with your parents after 4 years of not. My parents still see me as the same person when I first left for college. And in a lot of ways, I catch myself reverting back to that point. I lose patience when my parents ask numerous questions and make comments about my life. I get frustrated, but there's no reason for me to get frustrated. I've flirted with the idea many times about finding my own place because the money I'm saving is not worth ruining my relationship with the parents. I'm still learning how to have serious conversations with my parents without getting defensive. By God's grace, I am getting better at catching myself.
- No privacy - Pretty self-explanatory. No privacy at home, even with closed doors. As a result, a lot of my readings are done in transit or the first half hour at work before more people arrive. Makes me enjoy my commute so much more. I LOVE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION! That was a tangent, but ALTERNATIVE SOLUTION FOUND... maybe. My friend asked if I have ever asked my family to knock before they enter my room and I realized I HAVE NOT! So, if/when the next time I find myself getting a little annoyed at the lack of privacy, I will bring it up in conversation (w/o an attitude!).
- No control over how my family consumes - This is a challenge that was brought to light while participating in LoGOFF. I've tried talking to my parents about this, but it hasn't been very fruitful. I am not one to comment about the way they use their money, but as a believer, I have a responsibility to be a wise steward of what God has given to me. I've thought about buying my own ingredients to make dinner, but I think it would not be good. My parents are not very traditional, but they really love the idea of having the family share a meal together during dinner time. And to buy my own ingredients to make food on my own will be perceived as selfish and/or offensive.
In summary, reasons for leaving home include improving my relationship with my parents, having a little more privacy, and having the lifestyle I believe in.
I think it's awesome that you are striving to be a good steward, but I don't believe that there is a "correct" formula for how one ought to steward their money and possessions. For example, both Republicans and Democrats believe that their economic and social solutions are correct, but the truth is, both are humanistic and simplistic. How you steward your money is definitely important, but at the end of it the day, money doesn't save any souls. Human suffering and brokenness and sin is way more complicated than nitpicking at consumer behavior. What matters isn't so much how you use your wealth, but that you choose to do SOMETHING. Jesus described the man who invested two talents as "good and faithful" -- just as the man who invested in five. So be careful not to knock at someone who invests in "only" two when JESUS himself would say, "well done!" But if your parents or family or friends do NOTHING - if they are burying what they have in the ground - then yes, urge them to be good stewards, but remember that there isn't just one way. What counts is a new creation! And above all else, PRAY FOR THEM!! I'm sure you already know that, but a reminder doesn't hurt =)
ReplyDeleteNot to argue, but just because there are inadequate methodologies (which our politicians promote) does not imply that there does not exist an accurate methodology.
ReplyDeleteAs for the parable of the talents referenced, clearly the absolute amount was not particularly important, since the two servants who traded with their resources and gained two different amounts received the same commendation. However, it can be argued that "all" was the reason they received their commendation--that because they worked for their master using *everything* he'd given, they were commended. In his parable, Jesus doesn't give us an option of some--it's either work with it all or bury it all. There are no people who work with some.
I agree generally speaking that there exists accurate methodologies, but I'm just talking about specific things such as whether or not buying "Local, Organic, Green, Fair, and Free" is actually "biblical" or "correct".
ReplyDeleteI'm all for supporting the local economy and paying fair wages and eating healthy, natural food. But, if I wanted to, I could just as easily argue that LOGOFF is totally unbiblical, that people who are spending more to support these things aren't stewarding their money properly because they should be giving that excess money directly to the needy, or they should "give it to God" through church offering, or they should be using it to support foreign missionaries, or they should be investing it to generate more money that could be used. I could also argue that those who practice the principles of LOGOFF and talk about it passionately with others are making it an idol and/or preaching a second gospel. And there are economic and humanistic criticisms of such movements, too -- I have friends (both Christian and non-Christian) who believe that buying fair trade is actually detrimental to local economies in other countries, and others who believe buying organic is more hazardous to one's health than not, and for all I know, they could be right. So, although I do agree with the principles of buying local, fair, etc. and commend Amanda for following them and wrestling with these ideas, it would be foolish of me to claim that this is the only right way, if it is a right way at all.
This is not an attack by any means and I'm not trying to argue, either. It's just that, from personal experience, I realize that I've wasted precious time trying to convince others that their way was wrong and my way was right, on things that ultimately do not matter that much and on things that I actually do not have much authority or certainty. God has humbled me a lot in this regard lately (he still has a lot more work to do though, that's for sure!). Besides, there are so many things that ARE black and white in the Bible that Christians cannot possibly grasp all within one lifetime, so I cannot justify getting distracted by the questionable morality of eating an apple shipped from China and trying to convince others of something that may not even be truth. If I want someone to be an all-or-nothing follower of Jesus, I don't need to talk so much about these worldly details (although they certainly can be helpful - and fun! - to discuss). I just need to focus on sharing the Gospel. More importantly, I need to spend more time talking to Jesus about that person than that person about Jesus. And I just hope to encourage you (Amanda and Benjamin) to see that, too.
wow that was way longer that I anticipated... Sorry it's so rambly!!
ReplyDeleteEssentially agree. Have to admit I wasn't really thinking about fair trade when I wrote my comment--was more thinking about rice, beans, and cabbage (and the occasional lemon).
ReplyDeleteI don't think my failure to obey what is clearly given--e.g. pray w/o ceasing, rejoice always, care for widows and orphans, love God!--excludes a pressing onwards in other areas; rather, it seems that they go together. (I think humility is very underrated--what a surprise--, probably because humble people wouldn't be saying they're humble!) As I press into God in the areas he's gifted me in, I find that 1) I actually didn't have it figured out, so God's love is deeper than I thought, and 2) in my single-minded focus on one issue, I was missing some other key aspects of God, so God's love is wider than I thought. So stay humble, and open to correction.
Yeah I have to agree with Alice on this, and offer a suggestion. Our actions are supposed to honor God, right? Whatever we do? And you can honestly say that you are honoring your parents by eating with them, which is honoring God. It's honoring to God when it's without grumbling or disputing. So let it be clear that you support them as they provide and desire to be together as a family, good things that are from God. Jesus honored his parents, and he brought us into his family, so they are reflecting Jesus (unknowingly!). These things are all true, so affirming that in front of them means that you are reflecting God as well, which is glory to him. Gospel actions, gospel words.
Ooh small caveat--those who are not born again cannot "reflect Jesus" in the same way you do, but they still certainly provide evidence that God gave them grace. Grr.. not sure if "grace" is the right word there, but Reformed theology uses the term "common grace". Anyway you get the idea. Unsaved people still have consciences put there by God.
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