Off to Pittsburgh!

Only when circumstances in my life are changing fast do I realize how comfortable I was living. I don't like thinking about what I have in New York as something that I took for granted, but I feel external voices telling me that I had it good.

There are many reasons why I should stay. I liked my job. I was "moving up." I really liked my colleagues. For the most part, I was enjoying my family's company. I was excited for the direction my home church was headed. For someone in my context, this was a big decision to make and I should have good reasons for making it. The new job will be better for my career. The cost of living is cheaper in Pittsburgh than in New York. I fit in better with the Pittsburgh culture than the New York City culture. It will be good experience leaving my parent's nest. So many reasons to stay or to go, but I can't honestly connect with any of them or pinpoint the driving factor behind my choice to move.

I almost want to say God gave me a heart that was ready to go anywhere He takes me, but that suggests I know He wants me to be in Pittsburgh. I can say with confidence, however, that He has already provided for me and is paving the way for me to serve Him there. I am excited for this new chapter in my life and I know that I will have a lot to learn.

REASONS WHY I MISS PITTSBURGH

In no particular order... because I'm lazy...

1. Surrounded by three rivers.
2. Looking down the streets of South Side and just seeing a wall of trees and houses.
3. Hills.
4. My chocolate house.
5. City of Champions.
6. Mountain tunnels.
7. Friendly beekeepers that would let me help with their apiaries.
8. Phipps Conservatory.
9. Easier access to fresh, local produce.
10. Pittsburgh accents.
11. Fuel and Fuddle (half-off, wings).
12. Giant Eagle Market District.
13. Mattress Factory.
14. CMU students.
15. Morewood Gardens.
16. South Side.
17. Bridges.
18. Schenley Park.
19. Walking along train tracks to say hi to some friends.
20. A lot of yellow.
21. More appreciation for the sunny days.
22. Cheaper Chipotle.
23. ...
24. Stay tuned for more.

I know this guy!

It's exciting to see someone you know follow their dreams despite the risk. And to see them succeed makes me feel all the more happy for them!

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/02/07/bitter-sweets/

Bill(y) Cheng used to live a few doors down from me and he's coming out with a novel soon, "Southern Cross the Dog"! Support an upcoming Chinese-American writer and buy his book!

Diamondless.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ira-weissman/7-reasons-why-you-shouldn_b_1720870.html

Forgiveness

http://www.hotmetalbridge.com/2012/09/i-forgive-you.html?spref=fb

"On September 5, Colin Albright was carrying his bicycle up a set of city steps on the South Side Slopes when a driver who may have been angry after a traffic incident sneaked up behind him and stabbed him repeatedly in the back before slicing his throat and leaving him for dead. 

On September 16, Colin spoke in church about the attack and about forgiving his attacker while meditating on the words of Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount.  It's in that passage that Jesus delivers the difficult saying, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."  And while it may be difficult to show mercy, Colin suggests that perhaps it would be even more difficult to expect retribution."

Living at Home

In many ways, I am very blessed to be living at home (my parents' home). Financially, I would be struggling if I were to find an apartment in New York, at least without a roommate. I am also living very close to work, close enough to bike in good weather and get home early to help out with dinner. I also often have many laughs with my family that I probably can't get when living by myself.

There have also been so many challenges with living at home. I've definitely blogged about this topic before, but I'm going to try to sound less whiny.

1. Relationship with the Parents - It's so difficult living with your parents after 4 years of not. My parents still see me as the same person when I first left for college. And in a lot of ways, I catch myself reverting back to that point. I lose patience when my parents ask numerous questions and make comments about my life. I get frustrated, but there's no reason for me to get frustrated. I've flirted with the idea many times about finding my own place because the money I'm saving is not worth ruining my relationship with the parents. I'm still learning how to have serious conversations with my parents without getting defensive. By God's grace, I am getting better at catching myself.
2. No privacy - Pretty self-explanatory. No privacy at home, even with closed doors. As a result, a lot of my readings are done in transit or the first half hour at work before more people arrive. Makes me enjoy my commute so much more. I LOVE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION! That was a tangent, but ALTERNATIVE SOLUTION FOUND... maybe. My friend asked if I have ever asked my family to knock before they enter my room and I realized I HAVE NOT! So, if/when the next time I find myself getting a little annoyed at the lack of privacy, I will bring it up in conversation (w/o an attitude!).
3. No control over how my family consumes - This is a challenge that was brought to light while participating in LoGOFF. I've tried talking to my parents about this, but it hasn't been very fruitful. I am not one to comment about the way they use their money, but as a believer, I have a responsibility to be a wise steward of what God has given to me. I've thought about buying my own ingredients to make dinner, but I think it would not be good. My parents are not very traditional, but they really love the idea of having the family share a meal together during dinner time. And to buy my own ingredients to make food on my own will be perceived as selfish and/or offensive. 

In summary, reasons for leaving home include improving my relationship with my parents, having a little more privacy, and having the lifestyle I believe in.

Committed to living slave-free

http://americanslavemaster.blogspot.com/2010/01/im-responsible.html

The link above is the first entry to a blog I recently came across thanks to contributing participants of NYCUP's LoGOFF challenge. It's an old entry, but that's what makes it great! She's still writing through her journey in trying to live slave-free. 

Recently, I made a decision to join NYCUP in their challenge to live slave-free for a year (12/15/2011 to 12/15/2012). Technically, LoGOFF is meant to challenge us to live "Local, Organic, Green, Fair, and Free (of slaves)," but in documenting my own adventures with this, I want to focus more on living slave-free because most of us don't think about how we, as consumers, contribute to the industry involved in modern-day slavery. If you have doubts about your role in all of this, I suggest checking out http://slaveryfootprint.org/. 

I was never fond of shopping (except for groceries) because I, personally, don't think it is very fun. But when I had to shop for interview clothes and work clothes and new shoes to replace my hole-y ones, I went for what was cheapest. It's how I was raised. I am an expert at finding good bargains. This lifestyle was challenged the more I learned about human trafficking and soon, I hesitated to shop for clothing at all. It was easy to not shop in college because of all the free t-shirts and nobody cared how you dressed in a technical school. Now that I'm working and attending weddings, I'm finding myself needing to build up my wardrobe again and possibly falling into the temptation to look for what's cheapest. 

I am really grateful for God's timing and that He presented to me this challenge of faith to be a more intentional consumer. So far, my biggest concerns that I hope to reconcile are my natural tendencies to drift to what is convenient and inexpensive; and my cynicism in the fair trade market and certifications. I am also grateful for God's mercy and grace because I know I will fail many times, but I pray that this year, I will learn to be a better steward over the resources God has blessed me with.

---------------------------------
I probably won't be documenting primarily on living slave-free and fair trade because that is more restricting than I originally thought it would be. 

LONG-TERM PROJECT

Rags by Sock Monkey: t-shirt shag rug tutorial: Here it is, finally! My shag rug is complete. I love how it feels under my feet, and if it starts to look a little flat, I pick it u...

Honey Badger

Source: etsy.com via Elsy on Pinterest

Refer to the video below if you do not know the greatness of the honey badger.

Struggling with ADHD

Now that I am back at home, I am re-encountering the brokenness in my family that I had gotten used to not  seeing while away at school. I am currently reading ADHD: the facts by Mark Selikowitz with the hope that it's not too late to "help" my brother and to change my own attitude about my current living situation.

So far, I've read many letters from frustrated and helpless parents, similar to my own, and my parents are also expecting my brother to snap out of it because of his age. And with my brother getting older, his condition is having a more noticeable impact on his life. One thing that bothers me is how these kids are mislabeled as broken and hopeless, but as a believer of a god who is the good Creator, I know He doesn't create broken things (sin is what causes us to be broken). We consider them broken because they cannot function in a society with certain expectations that they alone cannot meet. Perhaps evolutionary biology could explain how having ADHD does or does not improve the survival rate of humans. Whatever the case is, it does not give us a reason to devalue another person. 

I might have first picked up this book looking for ways to fix my brother, but what if I don't believe he needs to be "fixed" anymore, at least not the way I originally wanted him to be. I want to be able to understand what goes on in my brother's mind. I don't just want to create excuses for his behavior. I want to be able to understand, help my parents understand, and help my brother understand, so that we can all have patience with each other. As I continue to learn more about ADHD, I will need to focus more on how I could be of help from now on, instead of on the mistakes we made in the past. Most of all, I don't want my brother to think he's a failure or a disappointment. Part of me is also worried for my brother's future, but that's between me and God.

I know I said I didn't want to fix him, but if there is any reason to help my brother behave more appropriately in this society, it is because others do not understand. While ADHD is becoming a more common diagnosis in children, most people, including teachers and parents, are ignorant in they way they approach them. The most common and, I think, worst responses we can have is labeling them as "stupid," "lazy," and other similar, negative terms. I am guilty of this and I hope to never do it again.

To the non-Christian friend

http://alvinoung.tumblr.com/post/11112980435 

“Don’t force your beliefs on me” 

“Keep your beliefs to yourself” 

“I can do whatever I want” 

That’s what you always say. 

And yet I tell you, MY FRIEND, that if it were up to me, I probably would if I could. 

But here’s the honest truth: I can’t. 

Because when you stand on my side of our friendship, you realize that you can’t stop thinking about the image of judgement day, where everything else fades away, where money has no value, where success means nothing, where everything on earth we thought mattered matters no more, and when we stand before an all loving Father, who is a judge. 

But a good judge. A judge that won’t free a criminal despite all the good things on his resume. A judge that won’t pardon a murderer despite how good of a man he was. A judge that says it doesn’t matter how much your good overweighs your bad. This judge is perfect. So perfect that he realized that the only way to redeem this broken humanity was to send his son, as human, to pay the penalty and die for all. And to be redeemed, means to believe in just that. 

My friend, I tell you that my greatest fear is not that you reject me. It’s not that I will lose a friend, because I realize that by telling you about Christ, I have already aggravated those thoughts. But rather, my greatest fear is this: that one day I will stand before judgement perhaps with you, and when you finally acknowledge the all surpassing knowledge of God, the love that He lavishly poured on us, and the humility of an all powerful God, you ask me: 

“Why didn’t you tell me about Him earlier?”

That is what I fear.

Braided Headbands!

This will be my next project, except I am determined to find a no-sew method.

http://www.makeit-loveit.com/2011/06/repurposing-tshirts-into-5-strand-braided-headbands.html

DONE! (October 24th, 2011)

I ended up tying the ends of each side together to seal the loop. 

I had to untie and tie a few times to get a good size. 

I'll probably trim the ends a little bit, but leave enough to adjust later if necessary.

My journey with God can neither be rushed nor slowed down. He creates the pace and I just need to follow, or else I ruin it. Like a dance! Cheeeeeesy? Yes.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths." - (Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV)

I like making my own notebooks.

Next Project: Floppy Disk Notebooks!

http://www.instructables.com/id/Notebook-from-old-Floppy-Disks/

God's beautiful message to women.

When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being. When I created man, I formed him and breathed life into his nostrils. But you, woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils are too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you. 

Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity. From one bone I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects man’s life. I chose the rib, which protects his heart and lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do. 

Around this one bone I shaped you. I modeled you. I created you perfectly and beautifully. Your characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart. His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life. The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart.
Support man as the rib cage supports the body. You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be held close to his side. You are my perfect angel. You are my beautiful little girl. You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence, and my eyes fill when I see the virtue in your heart. Your eyes — don’t change them. Your lips — how lovely when they part in prayer. Your nose so perfect in form, your hands so gentle to touch. 

I’ve caressed your face in your deepest sleep; I’ve held your heart close to mine. Of all that lives and breathes, you are the most like  me.
Adam walked with me in the cool of the day and yet he was lonely. He could not see me or touch me. He could only feel me. So everything I wanted Adam to share and experience with me, I fashioned in you: my holiness, my strength, my purity, my love, my protection and support. 

You are special because you are the extension of me. Man represents my image — woman, my emotions. Together, you represent the totality of God.

So man — “treat woman well. Love her, respect her, for she is fragile”. In hurting her, you hurt me. What you do to her, you do to me. In crushing her, you only damage your own heart, the heart of your Father and the heart of her Father. Woman, support man. In humility, show him the power of emotion I have given you. In gentle quietness show your strength. In love, show him that you are the rib that protects his inner self.

Interview with Randy Newman about his experience with evangelizing to his family.
"Evangelism is never comfortable."

Worddd

"We are, by nature, receivers. Even if we have a desire to learn God' Word, we still listen from a default self-centered mind-set that is always asking, What can I get out of this?... What if we began to think, How can I listen to his Word so that I am equipped to teach this Word to others?" - David Platt, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream

I, myself, am guilty of zoning out during a sermon or forgetting a message because it does not seem relevant to me at the time. But I have a responsibility to teach the Word to others, not just absorb it for myself. David Platt goes on to saying that when we recognize our responsibility to deliver the Word, it changes how we listen to the Word and it changes who hears the Word. The number of people who hear the Word will multiply because "the people of God are no longer listening as if God's Word is intended to stop with them."

I see now that my faith in Christ is always deepened and confirmed when my heart is set on seeing my friends, family, and peers come to know Jesus. Whether questions in conversations are spurred on by curiosity or skepticism, they challenge me to think past the superficial Sunday School answers, however beautifully simple they may be. They challenge me to dive deeper into my own relationship with God.

I do hope to approach Scripture now as God's blessing that is meant to be shared with others. I definitely heard that before, but why is it now just kicking in?

So I remember the hurricane and because this is one of my favorite songs ever.

Update: August 29, 2011
We didn't incur much damage near the Low Household:

• One of madre's favorite plant is broken
• One large tree limb fell next to our house
• The orange spider and its web is gone
• A few debris around my house

I'm grateful the hurricane did not cause much damage near my house. I'm sorry if that wasn't the case for you. Let me know if you need help cleaning stuff up. 

How come we play war and not peace?

I love Calvin and Hobbes.

Okay. I love all these poems. http://p4cm.com/p4cmwp/ministries/poetry/